i could love you

i could love you
i opened this page to write you
a poem that isn’t about your heart
but a million words made their own start
flowing from my hands into this book
and i couldn’t help it but I took
them to mean i should write this about
you.

i couldn’t find the words to tell you
that i think you might be p e r f e c t
and i don’t know exactly what that means
but to me that’s simply what you seem
a special way your eyes shine in the moon
the lightness in your heart when you try something new
makes me want to dance

i couldn’t find the form to write
the words that wave over me about your shoulders
that carry everything, everyone that might’ve sank
they have such grace in their rounded strength
and the way your mouth moves when you tell a story
i could swim in your mannerisms, honestly
but my fingers would prune.

i couldn’t find the way to show you
that night when you put your hand on my leg
that really i think we should just sit
and maybe press our mouths, our lips
together for hours to memorize
how our spirits change as our bodies thrive
but the motions for our metamorphosis never came

i couldn’t fall asleep that night
without thinking about what would happen
if we pressed our bodies together in time
your soft skin and long dark hair on mine
your eyes flashing those long lashes while you lie
on my belly and my thighs
i dreamed a thousand dreams that night

i could love you
but i couldn’t find the reasons to justify
these feelings that i let run through
because what we shared was tender all the same
and sometimes there really is no refrain
and so what if i could love you
until my fingers shrivel into prunes
and forever feel my feet hurt from dancing
until we have evolved like monarchs in the mountains
and dreamed a life into being

i couldn’t write you a love poem
because i couldn’t even conceive
how my loving you could be

i could love you.